My Christmas Wish List

Oooh, boy, it's almost Christmas and I sure have been good this year (which can be hard when you really want to see Gary the Gorilla get his....). My dad says that Santa Claws can see if you're good or bad (which makes him a bit of a peeping tom, and I don't want some fat stranger-danger in a weird red suit looking through my windows while I'm sleeping...) so just to make sure I get some good loot this year, I've been real careful not to do anything that might put me on the list my brother Grover is on. I've eaten vegetables every day at lunch at school, and I don't drink the chocolate milk, just the white milk. I didn't wander off at the museum on our field trip (painters are perverts: they all like to paint pictures of boobies....). I haven't tried to climb the Christmas tree, and I haven't eaten any of the garland (which is why Grover is on that other list). All in all, I say I've been a pretty good little boy, so I've made a Christmas List for Santa:

What I want for Christmas, by Chicken Orville McMuppet:

The first season of Hannah Montana on DVD

A Bob the Builder tool set (so I can make Millie a real nice napkin holder)

A Transformer (they're more than meets the eye!)

Some Lincoln Logs (to build a fort for my Transformer)

Some cat nip (a cat likes to relax after a hard day at school...)

McDreamy to fall for the new nurse on Grey's Anatomy (he totally needs to get over that whiny Meredith...geeesh!)

Avisit from my Auntie Cheese Samich

Mr. Microphone

A membership in the Jelly of the Month Club (it's the gift that keeps on giving the whole year through)

A gym membership so I can get big and buff for Millie (and be ready for Gary when he gets out of Juvie)

For Gary to never get out of Juvie

The Soldja Boi CD so I can dance whenever I want

Oprah to let someone else get on the cover of her magazine

A chia pet

"Drop Dead Fred" on DVD (that movie sure is funny!)

Millie to kiss me under the mistletoe

I sure hope I haven't asked for too much. If anything, I hope it snows on Christmas here, 'cause it usually doesn't and it sure would be nice to have a White Christmas. Snow is fun! So I'm gonna try to keep being good and count the days 'till the fat man comes!