Sorry, it's been a while....

Oh, heck,I’m real sorry...

It sure has been a long time since I've written anything, and I know there sure are a lot of people out there who are wonderning, what the heck happened to Chicken? Did he finally get eaten by a giraffe? Did he get locked up for erasing a certain Australian meerkat off the face of the earth? Did he get abducted by aliens and is now enjoying a tasty Reese's Pieces existence?

No, I'm okay. I've just been busy. Takin' care of my Dad.

See, my Dad went back to school, and it's been, like, a hundred years or so since he went, so he's gotta get re-acclimated, and that's where I come in. I've been tutoring Dad in the ways of the schoolroom. I don't want him to get laughed at (at least if I'm not there to see it). So I've been helping him with his homework (no TV 'till it's done), packin' his lunches (only one Little Debbie snack cake per day or you'll have no dessert by the end of the week!), making sure he gets up on time (which is why I tell my Mom not to clip my claws).

It sure is time-consuming being a Mom to my Dad. And since my Dad is old and forgets things, I have to quiz him on what he's read or learned in class.

He's learning some weird-ass stuff, let me tell ya. There's this guy named Neat Chi and he believes that everyone can be Superman but he went crazy after saving a horse from dying and never got to fly. And then there's this guy named Playdoh and he lived in a cave and he said we all live in caves, but I'm guessing this guy lived a long time ago, or is Batman, 'cause I don't live in no cave. I did live under an underpass, though, when I was a baby...

Dad sure is learning stupid stuff. But he's got this other class where he gets to take pictures all day long, but he's screwing that one up, too, 'cause I haven't seen one pasty nude model come lay on our sofa yet. Dad's such a loser....

Oh, and he's takin' this class on the government, so I'm hoping he'll get to bring home some of that government cheese one day. I sure do love cheese. It's made from milk, and milk does a body good.

So sorry if I haven't had time to write any reviews or tell you about my awesome trip to New Orleans, but I will soon, I promise. Meanwhile, who the hell is gonna help me with MY homework? Geesh.....